His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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