Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
