ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
It's shark week go big or go home
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
