I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I just found a bag of teeth...
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
