Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
