Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize