you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
