Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
you never un-have a 4some
If its not for food we ain't going out.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
