I showed him my bush... on skype.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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