My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
