Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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