Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
