i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
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