why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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