she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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