i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
