walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize