The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
