Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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