My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
