All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I'm getting married
To pizza
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
