Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
