After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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