Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
she told me i tasted like america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize