Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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