they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
