p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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