I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
