She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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