Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
