I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
