So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
