dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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