the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
