You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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