dude i'm inner monologue high
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
