I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
