we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize