Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
