No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
