yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
