idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
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He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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