try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
