I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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