I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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