i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
