A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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