jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
