no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
