You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
that is very illegal...i love you.
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