I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
