she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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