i need an iv and a liver transplant
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize