i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize