You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
