im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
