and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
