In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
