You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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