Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
You need Xanax blowdarts
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Randomize