ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
